Show, Don’t Tell or The Secret to Scene and Summary: A Practical Guide

Are you even a writer if you haven’t heard the advice: show, don’t tell?

But, when you’re working with words, what does that even mean? Why do we need to do it? And, most importantly, how do we do it? This article will demystify this popular adage and get you well on your way to mastering the craft of “show, don’t tell” by using one easy rule in three simple steps.

ISN’T ALL WRITING TELLING?  

Good point! We are after all working with words and not images. Telling is an important part of, well, storytelling.

When writers and editors talk about “show, don’t tell,” telling refers to summarized information. It’s an important tool in the writer’s toolkit, especially when the author wants to skip through some mundane details. If we stop to show every single moment, the pacing becomes laboriously slow and detracts from the plot. Telling moves the action from point A to point B quickly and efficiently. Very often, writers use telling to link sections of showing. These sections of showing are also called scenes.

Example: “The next day, Aisling hopped out of bed the minute her alarm rang. She dressed quickly and headed straight out the front door to the bus stop. She made it to the office in record speed.”  

Here, the reader doesn’t experience every stage of Aisling’s journey to the office—there is a sense of being in a hurry, but we don’t see the bus or the walk to the office. Who did she sit beside? Was the bus crowded? In another story, the journey might be the whole point of the chapter, but here, the writer is setting up the action to take place at Aisling’s office. In this case, telling is not only entirely appropriate, but necessary.

On either side of this interlude will be a scene. With a little bit of telling, the author can avoid burdening the reader with excessive detail and keep the forward momentum.

But imagine if the passage above continued in the same style, at the same pace. Good telling should transition into showing—a scene. If there is no scene, then there is too much telling. And too much telling kills the emotional connection and impact of the writing, so the reader will simply switch off.

That’s why a balance between showing and telling—between scene and summary—is the key to good writing.

A girl reading and imagining pictures.

 WRITING THAT BUILDS EMOTIONAL IMPACT

The ability to write prose that “shows” is what readers ultimately connect with, and it’s why they will keep reading your book.

So, how do you write it? It’s easy if we break it down into three simple steps.

1. write movement, description, and dialogue that

2. the point of view character or narrator

3. can see, hear, smell, taste and touch—think the five senses.  

That’s it. These observable sensory details create the world of the story and make it believable. Why? Because that is how we experience the real world.

STORYTELLING AND THE HEART OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE

For a moment, imagine you and I are in my kitchen having a conversation. Your experience of that conversation is going to be based on what you see, what you hear, what you can smell, what you can taste and what you can feel. That’s it. Your knowledge of what happens is inferred from what you observe using your five senses.

Do you want a cup of coffee” I ask gesturing to a chair. “Yes, please” you answer as you sit down at the kitchen table. You see me walk over to a bean to cup machine and you hear the machine whirr to life as I switch it on. From the coffee machine, you infer that I must like coffee, but also convenience. You hear the jarring noise of the machine grinding the beans and smell the aroma of coffee. You infer that the coffee is nearly ready and it’s almost time for the conversation proper to begin. You feel your mouth go dry and your stomach involuntarily clench. You infer that you are nervous about this conversation. I set the coffee cup down in front of you. You feel my hand touch your shoulder. You infer this is a gesture of reassurance and let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding.

Every detail you notice contributes to a picture. When we add them up, there’s a wealth of information even before the conversation starts. We experience life as inferences made from what we notice about our environment and the people in it. We do this so often and so well that we don’t even realize we’re doing it.

Why is all this relevant to writing? Because…

THE WRITER’S JOB

The writer’s job is to provide all the observable details. The reader’s job is to then infer the feelings and thoughts.

For this to work, you must begin to trust yourself as a writer and also trust your reader to “get it.” That’s not easy. It’s all too tempting to slip into telling mode for expediency or to hammer home a point if you fear the reader might miss it.

But this technique is not only a foundational building block of writing craft, it’s the secret to nailing scene writing.

A cinema projector turns text into picture

WHEN NOT TO TELL

Telling is appropriate when you want to fast forward through details. Do not tell when you want to:

• highlight something important to character or plot development,

• build tension or intrigue,

• deliver an emotional punch.

Let’s take a look at an example of “telling” that should be “showing.” In this story, Maggie’s sister is the point of view character.

Example 1: The doorbell rang. Maggie was scared. I thought of mom and how she was always home at this time to make us dinner and help with homework. But today we were alone. Something must have gone wrong I realized. Suddenly, I felt my whole world was about to collapse.

Some clues that we’re in telling mode here are:

1. the narrator states that her sister, Maggie, is scared. But how does she know? The narrator has not noticed anything about Maggie’s demeanour to indicate this feeling.

2. the narrator states that their mom is usually at home, but not today and that she has a bad feeling, but apart from their absent mother, there is no evidence.

3. the narrator feels like their world is about to collapse, but the passage lacks emotional build up and intrigue because the reader isn’t experiencing the anxiety the narrator is reporting.

HOW TO TRANSFORM TELLING INTO SHOWING

Remember the rule, broken down into three steps:

1. write movement, description, and dialogue that

2. the point of view character

3. can see, hear, smell, taste and feel.

The language can be simple and minimalist or ornate and flowery, you can use as many cliches as you can squish in (though this isn’t advisable), but stick to observable details.

Let’s put this rule into practice with our doorbell scenario:

Example 2: The doorbell rang. My stomach lurched and my mouth went instantly dry. Beside me Maggie went still, but I could see the games console shake slightly in her hands. She turned to look at me; all the colour draining from her face. I reached out a hand to try to reassure her. Her skin felt clammy to my touch. Her eyes met mine. “Where’s mom?” she whispered.

In this example, Maggie’s fear is conveyed when the narrator notes the shake in her hand, the colour draining from her face and her clammy skin, even her whisper. This resonates with the dry mouth and lurching stomach the narrator felt in her own body. Instead of being told that the mom is unusually absent from the home, Maggie voices the question “where’s mom?” With these details the reader can infer something is wrong and the sisters’ world is on the verge of collapse without being told.

Making the reader do the work to infer is a good thing. It helps ignite their curiosity and engage them—it makes them feel like part of the experience. There is also intrigue building here. Where is the mom? Why is Maggie so scared by the doorbell? These types of questions are hooks to compel the reader to keep reading. But it doesn’t end there.

STYLE AND TONE

Writers can use style and tone to enhance or direct emotional resonance. Let’s look at another version of the same scenario:

Example 3: The doorbell buzzed rudely, jerking me out of my daydream. My stomach lurched and my mouth went dry. On the sofa beside me, I felt more than saw Maggie freeze. The games console she was holding began to shake ever so slightly. She swivelled her head towards me, her face pale, her eyes frantic. I reached out a hand to reassure her. Her skin felt clammy to my touch. “Where’s mom?” she whispered.

In this passage, the writer has used figurative language to suggest the tone (“buzzed,” “rudely,” “jerked”) and instead of the colour draining, Maggie’s face is already pale and her eyes are frantic. Using frantic here suggests a note of panic.

Consider this version:

Example 4: The doorbell chimed softly, gently stirring me out of my daydream. My stomach lurched and my mouth went dry. On the sofa beside me, I felt more than saw Maggie freeze. The games console she was holding began to shake ever so slightly. She swivelled her head towards me, her face pale, her eyes frantic. I reached out a hand to reassure her. Her skin felt clammy to my touch. “Where’s mom?” she whispered.

A dry mouth and lurching stomach seem like incongruous responses to a “soft chime” and “gentle stirring.” If the goal is to emphasize the peace and tranquillity that is about to be shattered, then maybe a few other minor tweaks could make this mismatch work. If the goal is to emphasize the potential danger behind the doorbell, then “buzzed,” “rudely,” and “jerked” are a better fit. After all, who has experienced a softly chiming doorbell as terrifying?

You, as the writer, have the power to lean into the description of what can be observed and layer in detail to help guide the reader to make a particular inference. However, the writing should always be grounded in what the point of view character/narrator can see, hear, smell, taste, and touch.

Pages of a book show the four seasons

PUT IT INTO PRACTICE

If this all seems a little too abstract, then it’s time to get writing. The following exercises are designed as a way for you to have fun experimenting with “show don’t tell” using the golden rule summarized in three simple steps.

Step 1: Write movement, description, and dialogue

Step 2: that the point of view character /narrator

Step3: can sense: see, hear, smell, touch, and taste.

Be as creative, playful, and hyperbolic as you want! The goal is practice.

Exercise 1: EMOTION

Part A: Write a description of each of the following emotions using only sensory details that can be observed in another person:

• Happy

• Scared

• Nervous

• Excited

• Jealous

• Bored

• Sad 

Part B: Write a description of each emotion using only sensory details that you can observe in your own body.

Exercise 2: SETTING

Describe the following settings using only observable details (what the point of view character can see, hear, smell, taste, and feel):

• A city street during a heatwave

• A derelict house that is rumoured to be haunted

• A fancy hotel lobby

Exercise 3: CHARACTER and MOVEMENT

Part A: Describe the following characters using only observations details (what the point of view character can see, hear, smell, taste, and feel.

• A teenage girl who loves basketball

• A server in a restaurant who is stressed

• A teacher (tell me they’re a teacher without telling me they’re a teacher!)

Part B: Using only observable body language, write a description of someone doing the following:

• Tasting bitter coffee

• Trying to stand up from a low sofa with a bad back

• Walk confidently into a room even though they are nervous

Exercise 4: DIALOGUE

In this exercise we’re going to add dialogue to show personality and feeling. (Tip: experiment with making your dialogue age appropriate.)

Part A: Write a short interaction with dialogue for each of the following encounters:

• Two teenagers going to the first football training session after the summer holidays.

• Two parents at Storytime at the library.

• A shop owner and a customer.

Part B: Repeat the exercise, but this time take into account the following details:

• Two teenagers going to the first football training session after the summer holidays. One is feeling supremely confident. The other is nervous. Do NOT use the words confident or nervous.

• Two parents at library Storytime. One is loving being a parent and everything is wonderful. The other has postpartum depression but doesn’t realize it.

• The owner of a newly opened shop and a customer who is a tourist.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Mastering “show don’t tell” takes practice, but by focusing on sensory detail, you’ll create scenes that resonate with readers.

 Try the exercises above. You can repeat them as many times as you like with different approaches to style, tone, and genre. Share your reflections in the comments or reach out with your favourite response!